Copyright © Sanja Peric 2010 All Rights Reserved.
No part of this document may be reproduced or published without written consent from the author.
painting: “Couple” © Royce Deans
Displayed here by kind permission of the artist / Slika je objavljena uz pisanu dozvolu umetnika
translation: Maja Miškovic
Few days ago (july 2010), Saturn definitely left the sign of Virgo (for the next 29 years, at least) and entered the sign of Libra. He changed his clothes, switching his working man uniform for a clean and finely ironed suit. Washed his grimy and callous hands of a laborer, exhausted in these two and a half years. There is, perhaps, no dirtier job than the one given to Saturn: to deal with the dirtiest, the most neglected, the most disowned parts of ourselves. He deals with people in a manner that no other planet ever will. He is a mechanic of our psyche, our emotions, desires and needs, and this time, while stationed in Virgo from September 2007 until July 21st 2010, he was mostly occupied with our complexes, fears and unrealistic ambitions.
What does Saturn generally do?
Well, have we realized yet that we are beautiful, true to ourselves, and truly Human, only when mended? And that is exactly what makes us equal: all those invisible patches on our soul, heart and thoughts, on our Ego that, like a shattered porcelain vase had to be glued back together. And yes, of course we are never going to be the same again. For every seven and a half years, beginning with our birth and onward, Saturn makes a cut, if you will; it “cuts” through us, seals us with cement and hardens within us what we rejected and repressed. In the next seven and a half years, that hardened mass is the cause of our knots, pains, rejections, and fears. The next time around, after another seven and a half years, here he comes again to solidify the old layers (what were created from the birth to the seven years of age) and impose the new ones. That is why in the teenage years (especially from 14 to 21) the complexes explode and the seeds of our future selves slowly bud. Unlike those who observe them from the distance, the youngsters, with their undeveloped consciousness are oblivious. However, in the onset of the third phase, which begins at 21, the person gradually awakes – his or her consciousness, that is. The question arises: Why is it the way it is? And with that question begins self-inquiry: a person questions his/herself, searches for the center of the pain within his/herself, in order to relieve a long carried burden. The problem is, not all of us do this. It also happens that some insist that they are OK, while others are not OK. Further, there are those who deem this aspect of personal hygiene – I could, without a doubt, associate this aspect with sewer sanitation –unnecessary. “Whatever happened happened, and I am fine without soul searching,” or, “I am the way I am.” These are the common phrases people use to defend themselves from the possible pain (which is, of course, certain as every soul searching is). From the onset of the third phase, and the fourth in particular (approximately from 29 to 36 years of age), which begins with the so called Return of Saturn, we need to – if we haven’t already – look directly at who we really are, since the external is never a true picture, neither of us, nor of others.
As these two more mature phases begin, everything depends on us: whether we are going to free ourselves of the ossified layers of complexes and fears, mechanisms we ourselves constructed and let Saturn destroy it all, for us to see it all, to cry over ourselves and shatter with our own hands all that pain and dry tears and unfulfilled ambitions – or whether we are going to let Saturn usurp the construction site and add another layer of cement to hide the victims we buried in a mass grave: all of our vanities, fears, unfulfilled wishes, unreturned longings, rejections, complexes. Psychological mechanisms have been already in place and define a great deal of what we call destiny (or life). Perhaps as a child, you had chosen to be selfish, because only selfishness provided survival in a family where everybody was selfish; or just the opposite: in a family where everybody plays a victim, a child, as a response to the aggression of such imposed victimhood, exhibits a completely different behavior. However, if such a person refuses to face the core of his/her being, he or she might, one day, in her thirty years of life ask a question: Why am I alone? Why don’t I have a friend or a partner? Emotionally frustrated, without adequate experiences in intimate relationships, which include giving and not only taking, only then such a person feels the lack of love in his or her life, not realizing that all the answers lie within him/herself. Within us.
Therefore, if we allow ourselves this luxury (and believe me, it is a luxury) and turn a blind eye, as if we don’t care why the things are the way they are, we may not notice that over the years (especially from 29-30 and beyond) a huge four story building (an each story for every seven and a half years) has been erected. And only then we might notice that the sun of our life is missing. That the bright light of our clear plans, the beaming of success and true happiness of giving and taking appear less and less through the cracks of that huge building. That is why the Return of Saturn – 29-30 years of age for all of us – represents the years of true maturity, and for those who hadn’t thought about it before the first opportunity to dig deep and break the ill-constructed base. Once we choose the “road less travelled,” it is impossible to ignore it, to not see it, to remain blind. This self-realization has always been (and always will be) the only true self-realization that provides a possibility for satisfaction with oneself and life. There is no meditation, religion, school of thought, or contemporary notion of positive thinking that deals with our dirtiest parts. In fact, they all tell something else. They whisper “forget,” accept yourself as you are, love your instant self, only to strengthen the Sun and the Ego, so that the humankind is becoming more egoistic than it has ever been. Everybody is super, everybody is successful and ambitious, only to face, at the end of the day, when the business suit comes off, their tired faces, full of fears and emptiness. And that’s why – regardless of how absurd it sounds – only through Saturn we reach happiness!
Wherever Saturn is, in your chart or right now in the sky, you need to understand – Saturn has accepted to deal with what is the dirtiest, the sickest, the most deviant, the most disgusting, the most scared in us. Saturn resurrects and saves only the weakest. Only and only when the man cries over himself, when he is fragile and on his knees, without any strength left, faced with his own pathology, when he sees his ambitions as failures, illusions and lies, when he realizes that he was running away from the truth, when he is brave enough to admit that his managerial position is only his insatiable need to be closer to his father, to hear his father’s praise, to see his father’s pride, all of this which should have happened a long time ago, but didn’t. Or perhaps the five houses that he has bought were just a misplaced sense of security lost in his past family life or emanating from unreturned love… This is not to argue that every successful person made it because of his or her complexes, but everything that we have created and realized does evolve from the depth of our subconsciousness. It could be our choice of profession, the partner we selected, our family, financial status, or our own self-created prison, as we have been a scapegoat since our childhood. And what exactly do we gain upon detecting this? We are given a chance to realize that we really don’t need it. Actually, since the age of 30 (the Return of Saturn), Saturn has been making us free, which had been practically impossible before we reached that age. But after the age of 30 we can make our own choices, free of mechanism that directed our path. That’s why you need to ask yourself why you do what you do the way you do it. Why do you have a relationship that you have? Why don’t you have a partner? Why is the relationship with your parents the way it is? Why do you have exactly these friends? Why are you alone, without friends? And don’t forget that the answers coming from the Ego, such as “He/she is smart, capable, and industrious and that’s why I love him/her” are pure rationalization, which is, looking for a rational explanation that is always according to our liking. Actually, such answer is acceptable to our Ego. Could it be that the truth rests somewhere else; for example, could you be incapable of making new connections so that you have been with same people or dating the same person for twenty years? Are you perhaps socially challenged, always focusing on shortcomings in others, which is, in fact, an egoistic explanation why your life is better this way? When you are completely ready to admit the bare truth – Saturn will teach you to laugh. And you will know that this is the truth – because it is going to hurt! Don’t be afraid though, since only Saturn loves and soothes our despair. When this happens, the despair is not despair anymore, but a realization and true and only freedom that there is.
Saturn in Libra
And now, as Saturn entered Libra, the focus has shifted to relationships: personal, social, and public. Precisely through the others we are going to get the best pictures of ourselves: Who we are, what we are, and where we are going. All the partnerships and relationships are going to take a hit; not through arguments and jealousy but rather through genuine measure of our own self. This could be the time to lower your unrealistic criteria that prevent you from finding somebody good enough, so that you remain lonely, wander from one relationship to another, or cool off quickly. This could be the moment to understand that, perhaps, you have never been brave enough to get attached, to love, to be here for somebody, to open up a space for somebody and let him or her in. And you may ask yourself, how did I get here? Is it because of fear to be hurt and rejected, or because you despise imposed gender roles? Are you a man/woman who recoils from intimacy with the opposite sex? Admit to yourself all that you can for the level of consciousness you have. Or it could be something completely different. Search. But know that Google hasn’t come up yet, nor it will, with a search engine that can help you here. In this domain, we humans are irreplaceable. Regardless of Saturn’s position in a sign, he is always led by a motto “To Dare.” And I hope that some of you already know what I am going to say now. Saturn is related to fear.
And yes, it is correct: there will be divorces, long term relationships will end. But there will also be acceptance of the truth about ourself and our partner, and where possible, love relationships will survive the crisis. Pay attention to your judgmental and critical side, how much you are eager to find faults with your partner, not realizing that in doing so you are revealing a lot about yourself. Everything will be a mirror in the next two and a half years while Saturn transits Libra. You will see yourself and your fears in others. Even if you are young and in no rush to commit, your youthful love will demand seriousness, so this is a period when the young (and the rest of us as well) will learn about themselves and life through love, not books and schooling.
Saturn in Libra will certainly bring about:
• Guilt ridden love – love originating in guilt and sense of responsibility, forbidden and socially sanctioned love, love with those who are unavailable, much younger or older, and the like.
• Love that feels forced, mostly unreturned – We will ask “Why am I rejected? Why am I not loved? Why there is no answer?” but remain obsessively in this state of mind as if we are forcing those who don’t love us to somehow do so.
• Love that feels cold – the partner is physically unavailable (e.g. geographic distance) and therefore emotionally unavailable as well. You need to ask yourself, what in me needs this incomplete and partial relationship, what part of me believes in this kind of relationship?
• Love burdened by mistrust – “I don’t trust this love” arises from fear that the time will annihilate love, regardless how promising it seems. This mistrust often causes loneliness or the choice of a partner who will inevitably confirm what we want to be confirmed – that love cannot last. This mindset initiates affairs, or situations when, on the very last day of your holiday trip, you meet the “love of your life” and spend with him/her only a day. Believe me, you attracted this situation with your own mistrust.
• Sadomasochism – this is the most difficult relationship that Saturn in Libra can bring. It’s interesting that despite the initial pity people feel for the masochist or the one suffering in such relationship, we should be reminded that the other side – the partner who inflicts coldness, cheating, and other forms of brutal psychological torture – suffers as well as he or she is even more dependent on such relationship.
Is there anything good, you are probably wondering. I don’t know what that could be … but I will remind you once more of Blaise Cendrars, who said, If love is the tenet of life, then masochism is the principle of the universe! Therefore, the only advice is, be honest. If you are hurting, let your pain be visible. If you are happy and in love, show off your joy. Don’t turn into a stone, don’t pretend you are cold, sinced it is not in your nature. I am happy about the shift that occurred: while Saturn’s raison d’être in Virgo was existential survival, submission to authority, servitude, unemployment, rotting, and facing one’s own pathology and sickness, the prevalent theme now will be LOVE.
It might become clear now why is Saturn exalted while in Libra. Maybe there is no love without suffering, waiting, longing, frustration, or tears? Maybe this is the only way toward thrill, ecstasy and joy, as Freud claimed. It seems like it…And if you ask me, Alright, will there be any possibility to establish a relationship? My answer is, it sure will! But only when mature and responsible partners cross the path of love. The relationship can certainly last and endure, but there can’t be love if one partner is aware of his or her shortcomings as well as those of his or her partner, and is ready and willing to accept it all, but the other side is constantly delving into faults, criticizing, and holding grudges. If, however, both partners are willing to learn about and accept themselves and each other in new emotional and sexual relations, their love will be guided by the old maxim: Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto (I am a human and nothing human is foreign to me). Because Saturn in Libra is a story about the monument of love built on what love in its essence is. Longing, desire, and intimacy; acknowledgement and differences; and in the end, acceptance and power to love somebody so different from us… because it’s too easy to love what is already within us. As I mentioned in my previous text on Saturn in Libra (within the Annual Horoscope), when we love only what we readily recognize in ourselves, we are very close to narcissism. But let the children be narcissistic, with their love for the same toys; let the teenagers enjoy this last luxury of their youth, when they fall in love with those who will feed their fragile ideals, or those who like the same music or movies. For us, who have grown up (have we?), let us show that we can love much deeper than that.
Last time, I posted Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart as a music illustration for the previous story of Saturn in Libra. This time, we’ll listen to Morrissey with a song whose title aptly symbolizes the astrological story of Saturn in Libra, The more you ignore me, the closer I get… Love is ready to show us all of its faces, which are hidden in all of us.